14 Years

For 14 years, I've walked all alone in this cruel world we live in. I always minded my own business but I wanted, at the same time, to help the ones who stood around me. Some of them were just like me, but the others had something to live for. And their eyes shined so bright that made me want to chase down my reason to live. For 14 years, I looked for it, but when I seemed to find what I was looking for, it would just slip away, right between my fingers. I ran after every sky in the sky, only to find myself lost in a dark place I already knew and already forgotten. I looked in the mirror, there was no light in my eyes, no matter how I tried to find it. It's been too long. I just want to break free from this world and enter a new one where I'll find what I am looking for and finally live with some happiness. I'm sick and tired of being alone, sick and tired of trying, sick and tired of searching and sick and tired of taking risks. All I need is clarity, or at least one reason to continue searching. One sign of hope in my own miserable life. I wanna see the grass burn, the buildings collapse, the sea just fall into infinity. I wanna watch the whole world destroyed and turned into dust. And then I wanna see it rebuild once again. I wanna see the birth of a brave new world with a different space, different people, a different life. I wanna live in a world where I am not alone, and neither is anyone. I'm fucking sick of being alone, goddamn it.

Izzy